|
|
Post by Candle on Jul 19, 2007 21:22:41 GMT -5
Vince, words are everything on a board (and email, and chat)--we are not acting. From our long and fortunate view, we *can* ascertain what is to worry about and what is to simply remonstrate. I don't how to say anything these days without it coming off as some kind of high-faluten lecture, but please take it from me: the things you do that you don't think have weight, or impact, or import, *are*just the things that do, and you know it, else you would not be doing them! We all do.--for you, for everyone around you. We truly are responsible for everything we are a part of, most importantly ourselves. Our conduct while we're here is our sole responsibility, and the time granted us is a gift--and we always know the difference between taking and using...and wasting it. Don't take for granted the time gifted to you--it is a gift, and is yours for the taking--but, as some Spanish dude/ette said at some point: 'Take what you want,' said God. 'Take it an pay for it.' You may feel, literally, that your pockest are full, Vince....but they're not, unless you give as you take---and even silly experimentation takes away from the attention you need to be giving your world, as yourself. You're here. Be here. Fully engaged. No person your age knows about themselves in the context of their existance here, in this life, enough to give a bit of themselves away by giving moments of their life, their consciousness away, as a person does when they're under the influence of anything but what's already there (in your body, in your brain!!) It's a conscous decision that always has a price; I doubt any of us know the true value of that coin. Alright. End of lecture.  It's a bit tough when you're 15...or 18...or 20 sometimes...to trust another's word or advice and then 'act' upon it, or optimally, to live it. And I'm more than grateful you feel comfortable in writing here whatever is going on your life--Write On, Vince! I mean that. But please be careful with yourself. We care about you here--I care about you--regardless of the fact that I've never met you in person--. But the care and love of those around is not a cushion; not a failsafe, against the things you do that take you away even for a minute from you Life. |
|
|
|
Post by guest on Jul 20, 2007 2:35:36 GMT -5
sadly i couldn't comprehend a whole lot of that
|
|
|
|
Post by hvymtlmom on Jul 20, 2007 9:21:49 GMT -5
sadly i couldn't comprehend a whole lot of that can you comprehend this? My friends son died from Oxycontin, my cousin died from an overdose, another friends daughter is in jail because of circumstances involving her drug use. So although I may not know you face to face, you represent these people to me. I've seen my friend totally lost without her only son (my son's age, by the way), I've had to witness relatives in grief as my cousin is buried and I've had to listen to my friend talk about ways she tried so hard to help her daughter, but she just couldn't compete with the lure of the drugs. I know these seem like extreme cases and yes, a lot of people do occasionally use drugs without a problem, but from what you've been saying, your usage and drugs of choice go above and beyond. Having known you (or what you have revealed to us anyway) for the last two years, I can tell there's a caring, compassionate, intelligent person in you. I know sometimes life can be difficult and drugs can seem like an escape, but the truth is the problems only get swept aside, they don't go away. In fact they come back stronger and with more complications. Do you really think we can just sit by and not have any reaction to your self-abuse? Maybe that's what you would have gotten on the old MW board, but not this one. Whether you choose to believe it or not, we do care and we want things to work out for you (and your friend-I hope she's ok now). Life isn't easy, but having the support of people who care (whether you want it or not) can make it a whole lot easier, even if it's just someone you can rant or vent to! Please, when you're of sound mind, go back and read what Gretchen (and Kim & Adam) wrote-there's a lot of wisdom in there. *HUGS* |
|
|
|
Post by guest on Jul 20, 2007 16:11:19 GMT -5
well as i'm sure you could've guessed, i'm stubborn and have my own little naive argument like always.
i'm not a real hardcore druggie actually. i don't do a lot of hardcore drugs. i smoke a bit of weed here and there. most of the time i just smoke cigarettes. i tried a pill one time and it was fun. it was my first experience with something like that. don't think i'm going too far beyond whatever the norm may be. Yeah i do have that person in me. but you know, it seems like it never gets appreciated in the crowd that i wish it were reognized in. The wrong people , like that person in me, but the people i like, seem to like this person more. and you know I'm fine being that person, because i can switch back any second i want to (long as i'm sober). i'm not going to let that person inside me wither away mind you, i'll just keep him dormant until someone that i want to appreciate it, does. I don't use drugs as an excape (normally, i'd say 90% of the time i don't). My counselor asked me how i'd quit if i had such a dependency on them; I may be addicted but I don't depend on them as an escape to get me away from my problems. I told him the same thing I'm about to tell you: I just use them for extra fun. no more no less. yes, i can admit to having used them in that way maybe two or three times before but it's no dependency. self abuse? did i ever tell you guys that i used to cut? i would cover my arms and i would even use my stomach, abs, and sides as another place to cut. but did you know that i actually stopped that? that's self abuse. my friend is okay by the way. and because i'm stubborn, i refuse to rant or vent out any frustration i may build up, on any of my friends. I don't do that. not only because I don't get angry (instead i get sad) but because that's not the way i want to treat a friend. I'd rather be leaned on than lean back on someone.
i re-read what everyone said, but i'll start worrying when i feel that it's really vital.
i was only sharing my experience like this thread was meant to. but you guys have shown that i can't do that without starting a big fuss. okay, no more mentioning my trips then.
|
|
|
|
Post by Leslie on Jul 20, 2007 17:33:20 GMT -5
Hey Vince, I haven't really heard what you've been doing so I don't really know what's going on, but if you don't mind, I'd like to squeez a little more lecturing in (I'm sorry, I know how annoying it is!).
First, everybody here cares about you even though they've never seen you, they've known you for a long time and they just want to help you and make sure everything's ok. If all you've been doing is smoking weed, there's no harm in that. But the blacking out and the pills are something of some concern. People sometimes make a big deal about nothing and are quick to tell you you have a problem and that you're an addict, so don't let anyone (like retarded counselors and parents) tell you you're an addict. But be careful, because you'll be the last one to admit that, so just be careful. Don't try to be someone different just to please other people or to just go with the flow, cuz certain people will drag you down and corrupt you. I don't think there's too much of a difference of whether you use drugs to escape from troubles or to escape boredom, but you should stop when it's deteriorating your health and ruining your relationship with your family. It's ok to have fun, as long as you don't get carried away. Don't keep things to yourself, it's ok to talk about things with others, that's what friends are there for, we like listening to whatever's troubling each other, so don't be shy about that. I've been going through a rough time with drugs and such also, so if you ever need to talk, I'd be happy to listen, don't keep things to yourself, and just be careful, don't mix drugs, especially not with alcohol. Sorry to lecture.
|
|
|
|
Post by guest on Jul 20, 2007 21:44:40 GMT -5
it was only one pill. one time. one trip. one bad experience. doesn't mean it's bad. I know i'm an addict though. I get addicted to fucking everything like immediately. can't help it. i'm not trying to be someone different. I already am that other person. i just have the 'other' me dormant. and yeah i know that sounds like schizophrenic or bi-polar or whatever but in truth, i fucking am. so it's no big difference to me who i have to be. just depends on who i want to be and who i want to be for. (i imagine that might be a little hard to follow).
and i'm only worrying about my health. it's not ruining shit with my family. it is fun, and i don't get carried away. i'd rather keep things to myself than share things that will obviously not be tolerated. i'm fine with that. that used to be exactly how i was. i would never be happy. i would never talk to anyone and i would never let anyone in. i kept my shit to myself, and was happy with it. if i have to go back to that, hey thhat's fine. after all change is good right? changing back couldn't hurt. no one's trying to corrupt me. this is not a trouble. this is a good lot of fun. that's how i look at it. like i said, i'd rather be leaned on than have to lean on someone else. if this is the shit i get when i mention drugs, than let it be NO MORE.
p.s. i don't drink.
|
|
|
|
Post by kud333 on Jul 21, 2007 3:25:29 GMT -5
I already have to. I had to listen to the girl I love talk about times when she's thrown up because she had like 30 fucking pills in her system and she was drinking. I think that it was a little bit more painful when you're hearing that from someone you love. you guys have never met me, you guys may know how i talk, might have a vague idea of what i look like, but none of you have really met me or done anything with me you know? i guess i don't think it's as bad as you guys act like is what i'm trying to get across Look man, I've heard, seen and stood by while people I love have done stupid things and do I regret it? You bet i do, but I'm not going to let that hold me down. I live life to fullest. the grass is always greener on the other side man. And we may have never met you, but we're a family here. we still care about each other. |
|
|
|
Post by psycho on Jul 21, 2007 15:39:59 GMT -5
i'm not trying to be someone different. I already am that other person. i just have the 'other' me dormant. and yeah i know that sounds like schizophrenic or bi-polar or whatever but in truth, i fucking am. so it's no big difference to me who i have to be. just depends on who i want to be and who i want to be for. i'd rather keep things to myself than share things that will obviously not be tolerated. i'm fine with that. that used to be exactly how i was. i would never be happy. i would never talk to anyone and i would never let anyone in. i kept my shit to myself, and was happy with it. |
|
|
|
Post by guest on Jul 21, 2007 20:53:13 GMT -5
kud: doesn't even matter to me man. I'll stop when i feel that it's putting me in serious danger to my health'
psycho:
yes, two.
that's fantastic
|
|
|
|
Post by guest on Jul 25, 2007 0:19:07 GMT -5
well, today my dad let me know that if i wanted to that i might have a strong opportunity to go to a high school for the arts.
|
|
|
|
Post by kud333 on Jul 25, 2007 2:23:25 GMT -5
Awsome Dude! Hope you get to go!
|
|
|
|
Post by guest on Jul 25, 2007 2:32:00 GMT -5
Well see, i'd like to, but i don't know if i'd trade that in for going to my normal district high school...
|
|
|
|
Post by kud333 on Jul 25, 2007 2:37:02 GMT -5
what seems better about both schools?
|
|
|
|
Post by Kim on Jul 25, 2007 6:30:22 GMT -5
Would you know anyone in the arts school? Or would you be leaving all of your friends behind? That would suck....
|
|
|
|
Post by hvymtlmom on Jul 25, 2007 14:19:39 GMT -5
Both of my kids went to a magnet high school (for science & engineering) and they loved it. Only part of the school was for those students, it was well funded and highly geared towards a career in that field. The other part of the school was the local high school for that area (kind of a ghetto area). The magnet kids were pretty much together for most of their classes. The real benefit is meeting so many others who are interested in the same things you are. Even though they had a long bus ride every day, they never complained & it was well worth it for them. It was free for us because it was part of our school district and buses were provided. Idk if thats the kind of situation you have-if your's is a private school or not. Our school district has magnet schools for lots of different catagories, including performing arts. The only sort-of drawback is that your friends tend to be more spread out all over the place (all over the county) rather than in your local neighborhood. I did a lot of driving because of it!
But doing something like that dosen't mean you would give up your friends you have now. You'd still get to see them after school, weekends whatever. Performing Arts seems like something you really enjoy and finding more friends who share that same passion is a great thing ;D Also, the school is probably not JUST performing arts...if it's like my kid's school, there are the usual high school classes too- AP, Honors or otherwise.....
|
|
